Thought: watching is not doing...but it is mental preperation.

Weight: 274.0

I feel: a little less bloated

okay so I haven't started working out yet...we have just kept banging away at the house. all the clothes go out tomorrow!! but I did put in the 30 Day Shred DVD and watched level 1 of a 3 level video.

Jillian is going to kick my ASS!!!

I am scared...push ups, crunches, lunges, jumping jacks, butt bumps, JUMPING JACKS for God's sake!!! What happened to level 1??

And yeah...just when I am thinking...awww hell there is no way I can move my ass like that...

the bitch says, "and don't think you can't do jumping jacks. I have 400 pound people who do them all the time. You can too."

You know what? She's right.

During one of my earlier crusades to shape up, I was participating in a workout program at my job. Every week the instructor stepped it up...and I shocked myself by doing jumping jacks and jumping rope too. I can do it.

I need a yoga mat or 2 but for now I am going to use towels. And I need some hand weights. I may use cans or something until I can get a set.

Thought: work, my allergies, the holidays...all good excuses but not very good reasons

Weight: 276.6

I feel: like a rogue chorizo trying to fight it's way out of the casing

 

I am back homepickles. All those excuses have been plaguing me since I came back from California on 10-3. My allergies went all out of whack when I got back into town and I ended up sick most the month of October...which sucked. I used alot of my sick time too :( On the upside...I bought a Neti Pot just to see how it worked for me and so far so good. I am using it weekly and hope to stay clear thru the holidays. 

 

I bought it after I got sick in Albuquerque, NM at the beginning of November. I was there for a conference and had a really good time. I was healthy the entire time as well until a cold front blew in the last night we were there. I ended up with a horrible runny nose the entire trip back. ugh!!

 

The holiday was really nice. We ended up spending it with samurai's parents and family. On Wednesday evening we went over to help his mom cook and prep the turkey. She taught me how to make her stuffing and let me butter the turkey. We had alot of fun that night and a really good time the next day as well.

Spent most of my vacation stuffing myself and grazing on leftovers, hence the rogue chorizo comment. I am expecting Aunt Flo, so I feel extra bloated and puffy. Tomorrow is the start of a new week...Jillian Anderson 30 Day Shred has been waiting for me. I made chicken soup to feed me for lunch all week. I am ready to hit this again. So ready to change...so hard to go thru with it.

 

Yesterday and today we attacked the house which I am sorry to say is in a sad state. I have so much STUFF...clothes, books, art supplies, shoes, coats, dust...CRAP...all over the place and so I decided it was time to do a clean sweep. I started with my closets. I put everything that I hadn't worn in a year or that I knew did not fit me in a bag for the "Arc of Texas" pick-up on the 1st. It will be nice to rid myself of that anchor around my neck of going thru my closet every morning and being sad so many things don't fit.

 

I have alot of clothes my mother has given me over the last year that do not fit well. Because it is brand new, I am putting it into my 'go shopping closet' where I can go try on clothes as I lose weight and things start to fit again. Incentives right?

I also got a book from a great friend and weight loss inspiration. I am planning on using it...reading it already...going to work thru the exercises. write it out...work it out...sweat it out.

onward and upward...

Thought: I think I look pretty good after 20 years

no weigh in or exploration of feelings right now...just thinking before I go back to watching our ongoing run through of every season of Battlestar Galactica on netflix.

My 20 year reunion was a blast. I had such a good time and didn't think about my thighs once. Some friends looked as great as they did in HS. others looked even better! and some looked different...whether it be weight gain, bad hair or makeup, facial hair, bald heads, greys....but you know what? it didn't matter.
not one bit.

I had a blast! and now I am suffering through the sinus infection to prove it. LOL
Gosh this has been a horrible month of allergies and illness for me. so no exercising yet this week, or watching my intake as it has consisted of little debbie nutty buddies, buffalo chicken nuggets and totino's pizza left over from the food we bought for samurai's boy to eat as he house watched for us (an exercise in independence (; ) and chicken soup from various asian restaurants.

on a good note, the jillian anderson 30 day shred landed this weekend. so I am going to start it next week. I'm scared. haha!

onward.

Thought: doesn't mean I am giving up

10-22-10
Weight: 269.4

I feel: a little defeated

Well, my reunion is tomorrow and I am nowhere near my goal. That does not mean I am giving up. 

Back on it next week.

Thought: Back in the saddle again: I don't think I like the Saddle...

9-16-10
Weight: 269.2

I feel: Challenged and Smiley
9-17-10
Weight: 268.6
I feel: pleased!
9-20-10
Weight: 273.2
I feel: bloated, not surprised, deflated but still strong

9-22-10
Weight: 268.8

I feel: Good!

9-23-10
Weight: 268.8

I feel: Good!

10-4-10

265.8

I feel:  tired

10-11-10

Weight: 274.3

I feel: bloated...11 lbs? seriously?

but I like saddlebags even less!!

so let's talk about what went wrong here...

9-23 was a Thursday and probably the last day I worked out...before I changed the name, this blog was entitled 'hoorah for the weekend warrior: hoowie for the weekend weakling' because I was frustrated with how hard it is to get my ass moving for ANYTHING much less working out on the weekend! But now it has become more than that. I am just struggling with my motivation PERIOD! As you can see, I have had this entry going for quite some time now. In the last couple of weeks I have been drained at work. I was still trying to work out every day and sticking to it, but after the work out and making dinner, I had no energy to blog. I would literally sit in front of the computer too tired to type...(of course I didn't have any problem sitting in front of the computer playing cafe world...LOL) "takes alot of getting really pissed off at yourself..."

On 9-29 I left on a work trip to Anaheim CA with 8 students and my boss. The trip was awesome and once again reaffirmed and terrified me in my thoughts on starting a PhD program. I did not work out at all while there. I ate well, as the conference provided 3 squares a day...no snacking really...and alot of water and tea. That is why my weight was still down when I got back on the 3rd and weighed in on the 4th. I was really happy that day.

So...how did I manage to gain 11 lbs in one week? I can blame this on a few things:

• I haven't gotten back into working out since I got back.
• I have been drinking alot of soda.
• I have been eating like a pig.
• I got really bad allergies last week and had to take a prednisone steriod pack to get my allergies under control. I don't know but I think it made me eat even more. It was like I was ravenous all the time!
• I am out of my high blood pressure medication, 3 days now, so I am retaining water.

I haven't been keeping my food diary at all either. Overall I am totally sucking at this weightloss thing right now. But you know what? I am the only one that can fix it. I am the only one that can get back up from this stumble. I am the only one that can decide to turn on the workout videos when I get home tonight. I am the only one that can control how much I eat, what I eat, and how often. And the more and the more that I do it, the easier it will be the next time I stumble.

Thanks for listening.